05.07.09
Retail therapy or perfect timing?
I AM SO HAPPY I WAS NOT AT WORK TODAY. I mean, things still suck between “Someone” and I because I feel like he knows that I know about HER. I asked him to explain his status and he said he “didn’t know” what it meant. Right. So, we’re being curt with each other but whatever, I’m getting over it. How, you may ask, after I spent the last 10 days venting about him? I shall enumerate below:
1. The Ex. He still loves me. I’ll love him more when he’s here. He has been so much sweeter. I remember now why I loved him. He’s funny, bright, hot, conversation is easy with him and it isn’t strained. I never have to ask him for his opinion– he gives it– whether you want it or not. Right now, things are good.
2. New dress. It’s P E R F E C T. But it’s $608.00. I am trying to cajole my grandmother into purchasing it for me. We will find out the verdict soon enough. I’m thinking its a 50/50 shot.
3. Impact of dress. “Someone” will shit himself. So will everyone else.
4. My voice is getting much better!
5. Just got off of the phone with the ex and he will be calling me back.
6. I realized that trying to follow my own advice is only minimally rewarding. Three days ago, “putting it into perspective” would have been advice I laughed at and probably would have said “HAH that’s the bullshit I spew to my friends.” But now, in the grande scheme of things, the perspective ain’t that bad. He’s leaving. She’s whatever. I’m going to take the LSAT.
6a. More pressing concerns: desperately need a summer job, might have to move. Thus, truly makes “Someone” less of a concern.
Reality: I am trying to ignore my feelings. Trying to mask the pestilent must with fragrant perfumes. I cannot deny that some of the moments we shared, and the things he said don’t stick.. that they do not resonate deeply because they do. I only hope that we can resolve things before he leaves.
Mental/Emotional status: Clmbing from 35%.
05.03.09
What I learned from Max Keeble
Who would have thought that a children’s film could actually offer some sort of real insight into life! “Not I”, said the cat.
Anyway. The film was mostly terrible, however, the kid playing Max is a great actor for his age. Major kudos for him. At any rate, the movie was on mute most of the time as I was deliberating between texts with “Someone” and then X texting me and accusing me of ignoring him. Ugh. So, in the movie, after the food fight, Max is running away from the principal and runs into the Janitors room. He apologizes for starting the food fight and the janitor replies with the following:
“Any kid can make a mess, but it takes a man to clean it up.”
Wow. I mean, wow. Am I the only one who was moved by this? It takes a man to clean it up.. SO TRUE. At that moment, I had an epiphany: men are able to realize their mistakes, be accountable for their actions and then proceed to do the right thing. Kids or boys can only get themselves into messes.
How this applies to my situation: “Someone” is younger than I am and clearly gets himself into messes, inadvertently. He likes 5 girls but is only talking to two of them. But based on recent events, he may like 6 girls.
Whatever. I found it highly amusing that Max Keeble applies to real life and I realized that “Someone” is not as mature as I first thought.
More detail to follow when we “hang out”, possibly, tonight.
_____
We “hung out” tonight. This meaning that he comes over, we kiss, snuggle and watch Spider-Man 3, dish about Friday, etc. But, he still did not mention “Sister” and their conversation. When I inquired about his ex, he said that he talked to her last night and when I asked why I was the ONLY one who did not receive a phone call he responds with “I forgot.” I absolutely LOATHE variable answers. What the fuck do you MEAN you forgot? Seriously? I tried to confront the issue last night but it failed and I am honestly debating whether or not its worth mentioning with only a few weeks left. There are far more important things to occupy my mind (such as my blog for the kiddies, summer job, etc) but it would be a lie if I said I am dreading Monday if for no other reason than I will see THEM. I feel like it will be horrible.
Choice A: ride it out and endure the situation for three weeks. Privileges include: being of significance.
Choice B: Confront it and let everything fizzle while allowing other girls to possibly take my place. NEVER THAT.
I’m leaning towards choice A although with some reservations. It will keep me more sane.
What “Someone” will learn: He is a kid. When he becomes a man, he will learn to clean up and prevent messes from happening.
