10.09.09

Can’t reconcile your racism?

Posted in america, awards, celebrity, international, news, politics, race tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:13 am by mmbanana

“These people who are also being led by the Glenn Becks, Michelle Bachmanns, the Rush Limbaughs, whomever, they are no different than any other white-identity movement that’s part of our history. – Janeane Garofalo”

For those of you who missed the October 2,2009 episode of Bill Maher, it is worth watching.

So my ex calls me this morning to essentially bash Obama now that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, we can all agree that this is politics at play– but does he deserve it? Yes, he does. As I tried to tell my ex this morning, but instead of listening to me after asking for my opinion? He talks over me. Doesn’t let me say anything, so I say “Fuck it,” and hang up. Repeat.

The resounding question seems to be: But what has Obama done?
The question that I pose to him/everyone else: What will they LET him do!?

People say “Bush got things done by just pushing things through when Congress was not in session”.  Thereby implying that Obama should do the same thing.  But as soon as he did something like that?  Those same pundits would say “Oh, look at Obama!  He’s breaking his word!  Where is the Change?!  He’s doing the same thing Bush did illegally!”

People say that because Obama did not call the race card or admit that racism was a factor in the opposition he is facing that clearly, there is no racism.  Do you HONESTLY think Obama COULD admit that it was racism?  As soon as he did, those pundits would say “Oh look!  Obama is weak and vulnerable– he had to blame his failure on racism!”

If he does the right thing: he isn’t strong enough.  If he displays any signs of strength?: he isn’t being bi-partisan and therefore breaking a “promise”.  Give him an avenue of success!  65% of the American people want a Public Option.  He is trying to give them a Public Option!  But REPUBLICANS and SOME Democrats don’t want to approve it!  Why?  Because they are in bed with lobbyists and don’t want to lose any potential campaign funding.  Don’t blame Obama.  Look at your own Senators.  Reevaluate.

So as you can see, the man cannot win for losing. 

So I ask you: are people blind?!! The man is trying to get a Health Care Bill passed but people are in strong opposition for a NUMBER of reasons! Be it bribes, money, press, whatever– Look at Joe Wilson, look at the Tea Party people, look at all of the “Socialist” propoganda. Jimmy Carter was right when he said racism is a factor. You give Obama 9 months to try to bring completely new reform, and when YOU don’t see tangible impacts, YET, you come to the conclusion that “he isn’t doing anything”!? REALLY people!?

I was even MORE disgusted when I voted in this poll on AOL.

70% say Obama does not deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. WHY. NOT? Look at the opposition he has overcome. Look at all of the people who said “No you can’t”, look at how people are so willing to criticize him just because of one bill?! Look at what he has done with the EPA! With using diplomacy! Even BILL MAHER admitted that the only reason we are making strides with Iran is because of diplomacy.

This sort of negativity is toxic. And I am sick of hearing it. When I look at the Tea Party people, when I look at Joe Wilson, I am sorry to say it, but all I see are uneducated white people who refuse to concede power to not only a multi-racial man, but to a man who also has more education, is more articulate and tempered than many of them. They want to undermine Obama to weaken him. Because he is NOT WHITE. And he is educated. They called him and the people who support him elitist when hi is the least elite of all. He is the one who comes from a broken family, he is the one who has had to make it on his own, he did not get into Harvard and Columbia through legacy, but hard work. But now he is a Socialist because he is trying to help the American people? This is absurd! Why don’t you all open your eyes and take a good, long look at yourselves. Turn that reflective lens inward and tell me what you see. Because I see a racist and I commend Barack Obama for being better than all of the mud slinging; for rising above the smut in the Senate and the South and taking everything in stride.

People say “Oh, but he isn’t even all Black!” You’re right. He’s not. But guess what? It doesn’t matter. Because to all of the racist, uneducated white people out there like my ex? He’s Black. And he isn’t doing anything.

Grow. Up.

And before you say that Bill Maher and Janeane Garofalo are not viable sources?  Attack the issue.  Don’t give me flawed logic.

And for all of you critics out there: you can say that my entry was a rant.  It is.  But call it what you will, it’s true.  The only reason you can’t admit it’s true?  Is because you have a hard time reconciling your racism.

07.26.08

simple economics

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:27 pm by mmbanana

If the marginal cost exceeds the marginal benefit stop and ask yourself: is it worth it?

Recently (recently as in, three hours ago) I have decided that no, it is not worth it. What is “it”, you may be asking? Ah, yes. A man. We shall call him X (how original, I know). He motiviated me to get fit, upon which I embarkd on a new fitness routine. Working out for 30 minutes twice a day and eating less (sounds easy, right? It’s not. But the results keep you going!) needless to day, it is not so simple when you’re flying across the globe and changing time zones more often than you change your panties. –wait– does that make sense? ANYWAY. I’m really into him and he, apparently, is really into me. Now I know, I know what I said about romance and it stil does make me nauseus. Even more so now that I really like X. But there are problems. Most of them probably stem from me and my need for instant gratificiation, wanting something and wanting it now. Not later, not tomorrow, not next week or when you get your next check, but immediately, g-ddamnit!

So, he’s my AOBoyfriend. Goodlooking, smart, funny, whatever. The norm, right? All of the qualities I find attractive. Obviously it’s long distance. When we first met we talked on the phone for 10 hours. Straight. I kid you not. We have been talking daily for two+ hours a day for a month now. He makes me happy, but less so now. Perhaps, though, it’s by no fault of my own? Ugh. I don’t even know how to elucidate any more clearly because it 3:03 am here in Ireland and I have to be downstairs at 7:50 am and I cannot go back to sleep. Let me try this again.

This is what I want:

1. You care about me? You like me? Show me. (send me an email, flowers, something ANYTHING)

2. Notice the little things that I do to make you feel special.(i.e. sending you cute ecards unprompted, saying how special you are, gushing over your small accomplishments, etc)
3. Be consistent. Consistent with what you say, what you do. (if you call me at 8pm and talk til midnight, keep doing it.)
4. Communicate. Man-up and work it out. (Don’t walk away when I’m sad or hurting or angry)

In my opinion, this is very little ask for. Yet, I feel as though I’m not receiving it in return. He never asks me questions, whenever I mention Brown he tells me what a shitty school it is and that it doesn’t offer many classes– wtf? Nothing I do is ever wonderful or great, he glosses over my small accomplishments but can rant on for hours about his day. When he asks about mine, my sentences are cut off. When I try to confront him about it, I’m left feeling like the idiot. Keep in mind this is all very much how I feel. To the objective viewer/reader/listener it may appear wholly different.

So today, after he had not called for 24 hours, he called to say his bowflex arrived and he was sore from assembling it and he was sorry he didn’t call but he was spending time with his parents because his degernerate older brother is moving back in. Um. Ok. Couldn’t you have sent an email? A Myspace message? Left a voicemail? What gives? So following our 8 minute and 13 second phone call I was livid. My ire yeilded itself to an epiphany:

risk and return. Simple investment practices. If I invest in a company but see no return, why should I continue to invest? Quite literally: I’m the one paying for my phone bill. I’m the one sending him postcards from Europe, I’m the one who decided to get a personal trainer. Me. Where is my return?

Define: return.

-In this context, I am defining return as the emotional reward. Appreciation. Does he care that I went to an ivy league school? Does he appreciate that I am educated? That I do little things to make him feel special? If so, I cannot tell. He may say he loves me, he adores me, etc, but actions, as always, speak so much louder than words. I hear what X is saying but I cannot see it.

As an investor, you look for perks when investing in a company. What are my benefits? Privileges? I’m a shareholder and have voting rights.. Where are my voting rights with X? Why must I always be left feeling angry and unable to voice my concerns?

A gopher could discern that clearly, I am dissatisfied. I want more. I want more than 948483992 phone calls a day, I want more than “I adore you”. .. and I don’t know what to do. I’m angry that he even bothered to call. Now that I’m writing about it and revisitng that anger I’m even MORE annoyed. So, I’m trying to keep myself from writing him an angry email that I know I will regret but I’m feeling more inclined with each keystroke.

Damnit, I am so angry! All I want is to be LOVED! I’m screaming, LOVE ME! But the only thing I get in response is the echo of my own voice.

ARGH!!!!! I just want to rip my hair out!!!!!!!!!

07.08.08

huked awn foniks dont werk fo’ nobody

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:00 am by mmbanana

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about how living in the Early Modern era would have been totally boss, at least that’s what I was arguing, because people were physically fit from all of the intense labour, they were generally healthier (fresh foods grown locally without pesticides, antibiotics and G-d knows what else) despite decaying teeth, infrequent bathing, etc. They were illiterate, for the most part– but there was a vast appreciation for life, I feel, that does not exist now. Yes, our society has made great strides in everything from women’s suffrage to stem cell research and the like and don’t get me wrong– I am very appreciative of all of those trailblazers who set forth on the path to greatness and discovery, only I feel there is a severe lacking of what once was.

When I was talking to my friend, he agreed but went on to discuss all of the innumerable successes and progress that was made, he mentioned literacy and then said something that really resonated deeply with me. He asked, rhetorically, really: “what good is literacy, what good is reading when you cannot intellectualize what you read?”

So I pose the question to you, reader: what is the value of reading if we only read superficially? Never really taking in the text? Never pausing to think and wrestle with questions? Better still, where are all the questions? It seems as though people have less of them. Whatever happened to intellectual curiosity? What becomes of literacy when we read publications lacking substance? It’s funny. I can remember my mother telling me when I was 7 or 8 years old that reading is wonderful, that she was happy I found books but I enjoy, but once I completed the “Goosebumps” series, that I should read more books of substance. You know, I never really understood what she meant by that, but now it’s all beginning to make more sense. So, like a good little girl, we would visit the bookstore and I would return with Anne Rice, The Confessions of St. Augustine with the Latin-English translations, Jane Austen and at the bottom of my pile there would be a Dilbert anthology followed by Christopher Pike (oh, I LOVED his Vampire series!). As an adolescent, these were the books that kept me intrigued, I transitioned from Young Adult Thrillers to Fiction which made me feel very mature. Even then, my mind was working… BUT! I digress. Again.

I think literacy is a wonderful thing and we should endeavour for all people from all parts of the globe to bask in it! But we must also teach the power of understanding and thinking. Only when we think can we truly exist; only when we reason can we be alive. Cogito, ergo sum.

In my mind, the Early Modern people had it together. Sure, only a few of them could read but it was mainly those few who published the text we revere today. What do you think?

When society was progressing during the Early Modern era (for societies are built to progress and then decline), they thought themselves moving forward to a greater good. Presently, we believe ourselves to be moving forward while in some instances we are not. However, I was speaking to two fellow flight attendants during a trip from the UK about how our society is declining: they agreed. Max Nordau, a favorite author of mine in part because he seems almost clairvoyant with his predictions while I do not agree entirely with everything he has to say, had it about right.

*SPOILER ALERT!!* Society is degenerating. When I look at cultural patterns and select from that pattern a singular thread (for example: the status of women from antiquity through Mary Wollstoncraft to the plight for women’s suffrage to women in religion, etc, all of those being threads) and analyze it based on the period in which it existed (it being the individual, thing or movement) I understand how to define progress. In short I suppose I’m trying to say that I contextualize. The same brothels that existed in London during the 19th century exist today; the same diseases that plagued humanity during the Renaissance we have cures for today while more insidious ones are discovered. See the pattern? With each step forward we take two steps back because so much of progress is pork barrel spending, tax cuts, oil, shafting children of a proper education all for what? To what end? Where will we be if Generation Z can read Maya Angelou but not understand what she is saying? If they can meter out morphine by simply thinking of the temporary remedy instead of a lifetime cure? If we can mail out economic stimulus packages without realizing why we need them..

Knowledge is taken for granted. The right to vote, for example, be it for African Americans or women, is a powerful thing that society has accomplished yet it is often taken for grated. In a sense, then, we take literacy for granted. Most Americans can read but what do we read? Do we think about what we are reading? I’m not so naive as to think that people have time to sit and ruminate, even in university the time you have to truly elucidate on a topic is limited due to course loads, extra-curricular activities, etc. And sure, we all need a huge pause button but that is not entirely plausible. Even I do not sit and think on every headline CNN flashes in my face, or any byline in the Economist nor do I mull over each event in my life and ask ‘why?’.

I still ask: how can we be literate if we cannot understand?