1) “Someone” tells me, in March, “I really like you. I know I’m leaving soon, but lets be together for 2 months and see where it goes.” = big deal for him.

2) May = weird things begin to happen. “Sister” tells him that she likes him and things turn tospy turvy.

3) All sorts of disastrous random things proceed to happen which I cannot begin to explain because I do not know them myself.

The Breaking News: HE tells me that SHE tried to kiss him. SHE tells me that HE tried to kiss her. If he did, in fact, try to kiss her, he is dead to me. There is nothing worse than a man, or person, who can so easily re-neg on a ‘contract.’ And this ‘contract’ of which I am referring to is the relationship contract. One where there is to be a mutual investment made and values/feelings respected.

Tonight, she tells me HE wants to talk in the morning about their mutual “liking.” Good thing I will not be at work tomorrow. Or Friday, for that matter.

So. How does this work? He wants to spend time with me, all the time.. but he likes HER and his ex and two other females? What is that? I am not so much hurt as pissed the FUCK off. How is it that you’re ‘dating’ me (secretly) but can openly admit to a mutual friend that you all both “like” each other? And now you try to KISS her? WHEN were you going to raise this issue with me? Anytime at all?

Quandary: What to do? If I confront him about it, he will be assured that SHE is telling me all of the things HE is saying which gives HIM an opportunity to tell HER not to talk to me about THEIR situation. = bad.

If I DO NOT confront him openly, the situation is free to lapse until he brings up. = Also bad.

First option has more friendship-breaking potential and is, in my opinion, the worst.

Tonight, via Gmail chat, I was short with him. After I did not respond to a question in a timely fashion, his Facebook status becomes something like “…I know I am short, but when they are short, it lasts longer and it makes me think I did something wrong to them.”

…WELL. Aren’t we intuitive!!! WhatEVER could have given you THAT inkling? Could it have been when you stopped putting up the cute status messages about us? Or maybe when you told me you had feelings for your ex and I said ‘maybe we should stop?” and you didn’t want to? Or *gasp* could it have been when SHE confessed that she liked you and I find out through HER that YOU tried to kiss her? SERIOUSLY!?

Worst case scenario: He decides that the two of THEM should be together. Even for long-distance. I would be even more furious. But what would make it difficult is seeing them together for the remaining weeks. And having to listen to her stories about him all the time.

It’s sad because… I’m not that into him. I like him, sure, but it’s the principal of the matter: you can’t date me then like someone else all of a sudden and say nothing about it. It’s disrespectful. Rude and completely inconsiderate.

I feel like my fragile little bubble is breaking– even if for just a few weeks. There is a knot in my tummy that I cannot get rid of and I feel myself tumbling into some mild state of depression. It’s like.. everything is upside down.. like I’m in a carnival house.. or a room of distorted mirrors and nothing is as it seems. In all of my manipulative-ness, could I be the one being manipulated? By him? Ultimately, he has the power to decide and I feel like it’s going to happen tomorrow.

..if things go the way I feel they are, I could, for the first time in my life, not end up on top. And that is no easy defeat to face.