10.10.09

Phone Wars

Posted in Love, boys, men, politics, relationships, single, toxic tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:26 am by mmbanana

When you don’t answer the phone after an argument with your ex: beware!  He might get angry.  But at the rate my ex and I were going,   we are both already angry and quite over one another.   As I mentioned in my earlier post (Can’t reconcile your racism?), he called me the other morning, knowing that I was not feeling well, just waking up (it was 7:30a.m.) only to rail on my political views which are the polar opposite from his. I hung up on him, as he has done to me on many occasions, because every time I tried to have a civil discussion or respond to his questions, he would cut me off, talk over me, say “blah, blah, blah” — very mature, right? So, I just hung up. He calls me back. Three times. I was unable to answer because guess what? I was in the restroom. So he leaves me a message that I do not listen to because I did not feel like dealing with the stress.

This morning, I decided to call him that since he complains that I treat him like a “throw-away” friend. He says, “Good morning,” and I say “Hey,” and he says “I thought I told you not to contact me?” and I said “I deleted your message.” and he said, “You should listen to them. You don’t have enough respect for me to answer the phone when I call, then we don’t have to talk.” and I said, “Have a nice day.”

Then, as I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling I thought to myself: “Seriously? He has the GALL to talk about respect out of all of the times he disrespected ME?”

Being me, I knew this was not going to be a battle I was going to simply let slip past. So I called him back, he didn’t answer, so it was my turn to leave a message:

“Seeing as how you are in the business of making premature judgement calls: I was in the bathroom when you called. Also, you have some nerve talking about respect, considering all of the times you have: hung up on me, called me stupid, criticised my upbringing, criticized minority groups, my political views all while KNOWING that these were contentious topics between us. That is disrespect. Understand, that I have NO problem never talking to you again. Because remember, I was the one to tell you to get lost.”

Click.

He calls back. I answer and say: “This is me, hanging up.”

Click.

I have to admit, this is not the most pleasant of feelings. He is my ex, but he was also my ‘friend’. We confided in one another, knew we would be there for each other, etc, but understood that politics and race were conversations we are incapable of having civil discussions about. It’s a shame that it ended like this, but you know what? I say, it’s time to detox.

10.06.09

It’s hard not being easy.

Posted in Love, boys, men, relationships, single, sluts, toxic tagged , , , , , , , , at 7:07 pm by mmbanana

Why do men loves whores?  When polled, most replied with “Because they are easy” or, better still, “Because they are cheaper.”

 And you know.  I can respect the truth.  But.. wow.

To get to the fulcrum of today’s post: it is hard not being easy.  Have any of you ever noticed that it’s always the easygirls who get the guys?  That, as soon as a guy realizes you’re not going to give up the vag as easily as the ho over there, it’s just not worth it?  Sure, sure, we can all sit there and say “But there are exceptions!”  or, better still, I am WAITING for someone to comment and say “Oh, I thought that too but my HUSBAND/boyfriend/SO…”  Oh, I am just waiting for someone to say that.  About how the “right guy” will find you and he will realize what a gem you are–Ok, HOLD UP.  Thanks, but I a) realize that I’m a dime and b) am sick of hearing about your great whirlwind romance.  Honestly?  It’s not going to make me value your opinion anymore than the articles one can read in Redbook magazine. 

Back to what I was saying.  For example: last year, when I briefly and I mean briefly dated this  fourth year medical student, he a) did not pay for lunch after inviting me out to it and b) expected me to have sex with him on the second date!  “Show me your boobs” OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?  I don’t even KNOW you!!  Now, you might be thinking I’m somewhat of a harlot but I am actually very much a prude. In fact, I wear skirts (knee-length) and dresses (same length) and a string of pearls.  I scream class.  So where did this guy get off trying to get me to get HIM off?  Couldn’t tell ya’.  Needless to say, I promptly told him that I’m not interested in having any sort of physical relations with him and to drop me off.  He proceeded to call and text for the next few weeks but to no avail.  Did he really think it would be that easy?

Fast forward to now.  I took the year off from teaching to prep for the LSATs and I’m working at a retail chain.  There is a guy there.  We will call him El Dork.  So, El Dork and I are dorks together.  We like a lot of the same things.  Laugh and talk and joke about dorky things ALL the time.  He is my manager.  I’ve known him for maybe a year.  At any rate, we finally “go out”.  Things proceed well but he doesn’t call as often as I like me men to (which means blowing up my phone) so whatever.  But we keep seeing each other, infrequently, but he will call and we’ll talk on the phone.  Right, so, last week, he asks me to go to the Bookstore after work (YAY) and we are going to go.. that day?  Oh, he bails.  Can’t do it.  Just.  Yeah.  Can’t go.  …Yeah.  I know, right?  I was thinking the same thing.  Sooo… WTF, man?  For a while, i thought I had a boyfriend (kind of, lots of details I’m omitting here) but it turns out it seems like nothing of the sort because it is now going on three days and I have not seen El Dork nor heard from him.  OH WELL. 

I give you that back story to say this: he knows that i’m a “classy girl” and that I’m not interested in sex and it seems pretty clear that I would want a serious relationship.  I’m thinking this could be the reason I don’t see him as frequently.  But I know, judging from conversations i’ve over heard, that any easy ho would not have a hard time getting into his pants.  I bet she would get more mileage out of him than I would.

In summary: when you are not easy (therefore, ‘hard’ to ‘attain’), guys seem much more indifferent and unwilling to make the effort.  If I were a ho, I would have the dudes lining UP.  Like Elmo.  So here I am, single, again, perpetually, and have come to the bitter sweet conclusion that buying a Great Dane and naming her Scooby Doo-Anna is the best alternative.   A lonely, attractive lawyer with a pup named Scooby.