As you know, following the emotional train-wreck of our post-counseling session this past Tuesday, my husband, distraught as he was, asked if we could spend time together Thursday: he was going to cook. I agreed. Thursday comes and it ends up storming, so as we were shopping at Fresh Market, it hit us: there was no way he would be able to grill! Mulling over our options, we settled on dining at our favorite Mexican restaurant and ordered a half-pitcher of Margarita, which I have a fond association with. It was Taco night! We had a blast. We talked forever. I liked his new haircut. I giggled, he smiled, grand ol’ time. We then rented a movie (Splice, which has TERRIBLE and could not even make it through ’til the end) and returned to his condo to watch it where he proceeded to fall asleep in my lap. From my observations, he has started to change his sleep cycle significantly: it was only about 9:40 when he fell asleep and I decided to put him to bed and head home and by 10:15 he was almost fast asleep– a far cry from the 4am hours he is accustomed to. This made me happy, yes, but it is just one step out of hundreds.
Husband decided that he wanted to see me again this weekend, so he got tickets to go to the local water park. AMAZING! We were there all day, ate funnel cake and then saw Captain America (disappointing!). I do not want to sound pessimistic: but spending time together, to me, proves little. Obviously we have fun together. We always have. It’s dealing with Life where we differ dramatically. For me, this is the most difficult reality to face: two people, in love, enjoy spending time together, great conversation, etc… but are unable to BE together because of these fundamental differences. How is it this possible?! It feels as though God is toying with me! Why is it that we are right for one another in almost every way save this one, the most critical element in a marriage?
This article from the founder of eHarmony really resonated with me: Don’t Get Married. While I do not feel that our decision to get married was simply based on attraction, perhaps it was the ‘fun’ we had not having to deal with life together that did us in?
Nevertheless, my guess is that the next step would be to have a conversation with my husband where we attempt to address these issues. It’s like we have to start all over again. Ugh. What a nightmare.
That, coupled with the fact that my mother did not want me to go to the water park for fear that he might try to kill me there. Irrational fear, much? This, followed by a major explosive fight over her accusation that I hung up the phone on my Aunt. WTF? NO PEACE.
Take it a day at a time, rationalize less and simply be… thing will work out the way they are supposed to…. oh and remember F to those who try to take your peace… with all respect given to family (they really mean to help… help drive you crazy
)