Tags
addiction, couples, divorce, family, interest, issues, Love, marriage, men, problems, video games, women, work, xbox
1. Your husband wants to play video games until 4 or 6am.
2. Your husband would rather play video games until 4 or 6 am instead of going to bed with you.
3. Your husband wakes you up while playing video games until 4 or 6am because you can hear him talking through the XBox headset in the living room.
4. Your husband refuses to change his XBox habits because it is the only time he can “play with his brother”.
5. Your husband would rather cuddle with the dog because the dog is “fuzzy”.
6. Your husband cannot be accountable for his actions (or lack thereof)
7. Your husband neglects responsibilities and becomes defensive, accusing of you “attacking” him when you call him out on it.
8. Your husband still does not have a job despite the a) inevitable end of the trust fund and b) new bills accumulated.
9. Your husband decides it is ok to use profanity during a heated argument when you have warned it against his several times.
10. Your husband is unable and unwilling to cope with life events (bills, school, financial planning, etc).
11. Your husband finds excuses for his poor academic performance and forgetfulness.
12. Despite all of this, you have made EVERY effort to compromise. You have presented every possible solution and examined every possible avenue to reach him. To no avail.
13. When your husband says he was having a “bad day”, he decides to walk 1 dog instead of both, gets dinner for himself but not you, sings “I will survive” at the top of his lungs and plays on the XBox as loudly as possible.
What do you do?
I packed up all of my clothes and moved out the following day. Luckily, there was no furniture to take.
Without going into much detail (as there is PLENTY to recount), suffice it say that, yes, friends, I have been married for three months and getting divorced. I am just OVERJOYED to contribute to the overwhelming statistics of our country’s staggering divorce rate (please note the sarcasm). This announcement came a surprise to many of my friends who came from all over the world (literally) to attend the celebration of my foray into matrimony. They ask if I am sad: I am not. If one would could encapsulate my feelings, it would be “disappointed.” Trust me, I am eager to share it all with you, but the very idea of doing so is, quite simply, exhausting. Our next — and my last — counseling session will be next week and I plan to make even more explicit my intent to no longer be married to a “man” who cannot call his wife for seven days or make any attempt to reach out and remedy things. Why have I not reached out? To some extent I have, but quite frankly, I should not be the one reaching out. If it sounds selfish to you, it is only because you were not the fly on the wall to observe the lack of marital bliss I endured for three months and all of my tiring efforts to solve critical problems. Sometimes, we reach a point where there is little else we can do, when the team is no longer working collaboratively. I am beyond that point and cannot wait to sign the papers.
You are finally standing in your Power!!! And about time. 3 months can be Forever. Next time, hold back long enough to Know what he’s really like around: anger, bad habits, and addictions. This is a wonderful lesson for you, and you will not have to repeat this again.
Blessings…
Hello Christopher,
Thank you so much for the comment and much appreciated support. I DO feel better and will be even more in my Power once he is out of my life for good
You are quite right: this is a wonderful lesson and I am lucky to have uncovered these issues now instead of ten years later. Next time, I will hold back a LOT longer. If anything, I have learned a great deal from this experience and, as you say, will not have to repeat it again!
Ahhh, that was refreshing