10.10.09

Phone Wars

Posted in Love, boys, men, politics, relationships, single, toxic tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:26 am by mmbanana

When you don’t answer the phone after an argument with your ex: beware!  He might get angry.  But at the rate my ex and I were going,   we are both already angry and quite over one another.   As I mentioned in my earlier post (Can’t reconcile your racism?), he called me the other morning, knowing that I was not feeling well, just waking up (it was 7:30a.m.) only to rail on my political views which are the polar opposite from his. I hung up on him, as he has done to me on many occasions, because every time I tried to have a civil discussion or respond to his questions, he would cut me off, talk over me, say “blah, blah, blah” — very mature, right? So, I just hung up. He calls me back. Three times. I was unable to answer because guess what? I was in the restroom. So he leaves me a message that I do not listen to because I did not feel like dealing with the stress.

This morning, I decided to call him that since he complains that I treat him like a “throw-away” friend. He says, “Good morning,” and I say “Hey,” and he says “I thought I told you not to contact me?” and I said “I deleted your message.” and he said, “You should listen to them. You don’t have enough respect for me to answer the phone when I call, then we don’t have to talk.” and I said, “Have a nice day.”

Then, as I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling I thought to myself: “Seriously? He has the GALL to talk about respect out of all of the times he disrespected ME?”

Being me, I knew this was not going to be a battle I was going to simply let slip past. So I called him back, he didn’t answer, so it was my turn to leave a message:

“Seeing as how you are in the business of making premature judgement calls: I was in the bathroom when you called. Also, you have some nerve talking about respect, considering all of the times you have: hung up on me, called me stupid, criticised my upbringing, criticized minority groups, my political views all while KNOWING that these were contentious topics between us. That is disrespect. Understand, that I have NO problem never talking to you again. Because remember, I was the one to tell you to get lost.”

Click.

He calls back. I answer and say: “This is me, hanging up.”

Click.

I have to admit, this is not the most pleasant of feelings. He is my ex, but he was also my ‘friend’. We confided in one another, knew we would be there for each other, etc, but understood that politics and race were conversations we are incapable of having civil discussions about. It’s a shame that it ended like this, but you know what? I say, it’s time to detox.

10.09.09

Can’t reconcile your racism?

Posted in america, awards, celebrity, international, news, politics, race tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:13 am by mmbanana

“These people who are also being led by the Glenn Becks, Michelle Bachmanns, the Rush Limbaughs, whomever, they are no different than any other white-identity movement that’s part of our history. – Janeane Garofalo”

For those of you who missed the October 2,2009 episode of Bill Maher, it is worth watching.

So my ex calls me this morning to essentially bash Obama now that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, we can all agree that this is politics at play– but does he deserve it? Yes, he does. As I tried to tell my ex this morning, but instead of listening to me after asking for my opinion? He talks over me. Doesn’t let me say anything, so I say “Fuck it,” and hang up. Repeat.

The resounding question seems to be: But what has Obama done?
The question that I pose to him/everyone else: What will they LET him do!?

People say “Bush got things done by just pushing things through when Congress was not in session”.  Thereby implying that Obama should do the same thing.  But as soon as he did something like that?  Those same pundits would say “Oh, look at Obama!  He’s breaking his word!  Where is the Change?!  He’s doing the same thing Bush did illegally!”

People say that because Obama did not call the race card or admit that racism was a factor in the opposition he is facing that clearly, there is no racism.  Do you HONESTLY think Obama COULD admit that it was racism?  As soon as he did, those pundits would say “Oh look!  Obama is weak and vulnerable– he had to blame his failure on racism!”

If he does the right thing: he isn’t strong enough.  If he displays any signs of strength?: he isn’t being bi-partisan and therefore breaking a “promise”.  Give him an avenue of success!  65% of the American people want a Public Option.  He is trying to give them a Public Option!  But REPUBLICANS and SOME Democrats don’t want to approve it!  Why?  Because they are in bed with lobbyists and don’t want to lose any potential campaign funding.  Don’t blame Obama.  Look at your own Senators.  Reevaluate.

So as you can see, the man cannot win for losing. 

So I ask you: are people blind?!! The man is trying to get a Health Care Bill passed but people are in strong opposition for a NUMBER of reasons! Be it bribes, money, press, whatever– Look at Joe Wilson, look at the Tea Party people, look at all of the “Socialist” propoganda. Jimmy Carter was right when he said racism is a factor. You give Obama 9 months to try to bring completely new reform, and when YOU don’t see tangible impacts, YET, you come to the conclusion that “he isn’t doing anything”!? REALLY people!?

I was even MORE disgusted when I voted in this poll on AOL.

70% say Obama does not deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. WHY. NOT? Look at the opposition he has overcome. Look at all of the people who said “No you can’t”, look at how people are so willing to criticize him just because of one bill?! Look at what he has done with the EPA! With using diplomacy! Even BILL MAHER admitted that the only reason we are making strides with Iran is because of diplomacy.

This sort of negativity is toxic. And I am sick of hearing it. When I look at the Tea Party people, when I look at Joe Wilson, I am sorry to say it, but all I see are uneducated white people who refuse to concede power to not only a multi-racial man, but to a man who also has more education, is more articulate and tempered than many of them. They want to undermine Obama to weaken him. Because he is NOT WHITE. And he is educated. They called him and the people who support him elitist when hi is the least elite of all. He is the one who comes from a broken family, he is the one who has had to make it on his own, he did not get into Harvard and Columbia through legacy, but hard work. But now he is a Socialist because he is trying to help the American people? This is absurd! Why don’t you all open your eyes and take a good, long look at yourselves. Turn that reflective lens inward and tell me what you see. Because I see a racist and I commend Barack Obama for being better than all of the mud slinging; for rising above the smut in the Senate and the South and taking everything in stride.

People say “Oh, but he isn’t even all Black!” You’re right. He’s not. But guess what? It doesn’t matter. Because to all of the racist, uneducated white people out there like my ex? He’s Black. And he isn’t doing anything.

Grow. Up.

And before you say that Bill Maher and Janeane Garofalo are not viable sources?  Attack the issue.  Don’t give me flawed logic.

And for all of you critics out there: you can say that my entry was a rant.  It is.  But call it what you will, it’s true.  The only reason you can’t admit it’s true?  Is because you have a hard time reconciling your racism.

10.08.09

“Hi, I’m 5′6″ and a black belt! “

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 11:18 pm by mmbanana

Why are the majority of self-proclaimed “martial arts masters” short men, under 5′7″?  I recently talked to a guy who was boasting about his athletic prowess: from sailing to Karate and how he was just, so superamazing..  and as I was looking down at him I realized, not even so much to my dismay,.. “He’s….short“.  Supporting evidence #2: when I was flying around the world last summer?  Yeah.  Joe?  He had to be about 5′5″ but was just.. the SHIT when it came to athletics.  Just to give you perspective: for a girl, I’m tall standing at 5′8.5″ so when I look for guys?  I need them to be pushing at least 6′0″.  Of course, El Dork (reference “easy” post) is only about 5′10″ so I did break the rule a bit there.  Needless to say, I have noticed that the Napoleon Complex is, in fact, very real.

Short guys do one, or all of the following things:

1) Push off their insecurities on you.

2) Overcompensate (“I’m a martial arts master and bitches LOOOOVE me.  Being tall is lame.”)

3) Remain insecure.

4) Repeat #2 x infinity^1 billion

 

Why do they do these things?  No idea.  But what I do know is this: do not.  And I repeat: do not try to make me out to be the bad guy because of your insecurities (be it because you think I am “unattainable” and “too tall” or whatever).

I say this because, someone who I write with decided to ditch me for a session tonight play WoW.  I have never played that game and from looking at the screen shots?  I’m not impressed.  At any rate, we were going to write when he said ‘Oh, I have to go and play WoW when my friends get back’.  WTF, asshole.  We had PLANS.  It gets better!  He THEN accuses me of demanding him to craft his schedule around mine!UGH.  What is WRONG with people?!  Since when did virtual space become a viable excuse for lacking social tact?!  When did people decide that being accountable and having integrity was unimportant!?  And that it was, for some reason, OK to leave your husband/wife for someone playing a Blood Elf on WoW!!!!  YES IT HAS HAPPENED!  I have heard!!  Is it just me?  No.  You know why?  Because all I ask for is this:

1. Be consistent.

2. Be forthright.

3. Don’t let your personal drama leak into a story line.

4. I do not want to be your girlfriend.

5. I do not want to be your BFF.

6. I do not want to be your shrink.

7. I give 110% — I expect 110% from my writing partner.

8. Respect.  Respect my time.  Respect me by honoring your word.

That is another entry in itself.  But suffice it to say, this guy?  Is 5′6″. 

Oh, the irony of it all.

10.06.09

It’s hard not being easy.

Posted in Love, boys, men, relationships, single, sluts, toxic tagged , , , , , , , , at 7:07 pm by mmbanana

Why do men loves whores?  When polled, most replied with “Because they are easy” or, better still, “Because they are cheaper.”

 And you know.  I can respect the truth.  But.. wow.

To get to the fulcrum of today’s post: it is hard not being easy.  Have any of you ever noticed that it’s always the easygirls who get the guys?  That, as soon as a guy realizes you’re not going to give up the vag as easily as the ho over there, it’s just not worth it?  Sure, sure, we can all sit there and say “But there are exceptions!”  or, better still, I am WAITING for someone to comment and say “Oh, I thought that too but my HUSBAND/boyfriend/SO…”  Oh, I am just waiting for someone to say that.  About how the “right guy” will find you and he will realize what a gem you are–Ok, HOLD UP.  Thanks, but I a) realize that I’m a dime and b) am sick of hearing about your great whirlwind romance.  Honestly?  It’s not going to make me value your opinion anymore than the articles one can read in Redbook magazine. 

Back to what I was saying.  For example: last year, when I briefly and I mean briefly dated this  fourth year medical student, he a) did not pay for lunch after inviting me out to it and b) expected me to have sex with him on the second date!  “Show me your boobs” OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?  I don’t even KNOW you!!  Now, you might be thinking I’m somewhat of a harlot but I am actually very much a prude. In fact, I wear skirts (knee-length) and dresses (same length) and a string of pearls.  I scream class.  So where did this guy get off trying to get me to get HIM off?  Couldn’t tell ya’.  Needless to say, I promptly told him that I’m not interested in having any sort of physical relations with him and to drop me off.  He proceeded to call and text for the next few weeks but to no avail.  Did he really think it would be that easy?

Fast forward to now.  I took the year off from teaching to prep for the LSATs and I’m working at a retail chain.  There is a guy there.  We will call him El Dork.  So, El Dork and I are dorks together.  We like a lot of the same things.  Laugh and talk and joke about dorky things ALL the time.  He is my manager.  I’ve known him for maybe a year.  At any rate, we finally “go out”.  Things proceed well but he doesn’t call as often as I like me men to (which means blowing up my phone) so whatever.  But we keep seeing each other, infrequently, but he will call and we’ll talk on the phone.  Right, so, last week, he asks me to go to the Bookstore after work (YAY) and we are going to go.. that day?  Oh, he bails.  Can’t do it.  Just.  Yeah.  Can’t go.  …Yeah.  I know, right?  I was thinking the same thing.  Sooo… WTF, man?  For a while, i thought I had a boyfriend (kind of, lots of details I’m omitting here) but it turns out it seems like nothing of the sort because it is now going on three days and I have not seen El Dork nor heard from him.  OH WELL. 

I give you that back story to say this: he knows that i’m a “classy girl” and that I’m not interested in sex and it seems pretty clear that I would want a serious relationship.  I’m thinking this could be the reason I don’t see him as frequently.  But I know, judging from conversations i’ve over heard, that any easy ho would not have a hard time getting into his pants.  I bet she would get more mileage out of him than I would.

Now, lets look at another example.  One of my best friend’s from undergrad?  Got out of a long term relationship and has, essentially, turned into a bit of a slut.  She’s slept with 2 guys in like, two weeks.  No signs of slowing down.  But you know what?  She’s been through more guys than I EVER have.  Why?  Because she’s being easy.  Now, if she met these dudes and instead of fucking them said: “Oh, no, I’m looking for something serious” how many do YOU honestly think would leap at the opportunity?  Zero.  Tried and true.

In summary: when you are not easy (therefore, ‘hard’ to ‘attain’), guys seem much more indifferent and unwilling to make the effort.  If I were a ho, I would have the dudes lining UP.  Like Elmo.  So here I am, single, again, perpetually, and have come to the bitter sweet conclusion that buying a Great Dane and naming her Scooby Doo-Anna is the best alternative.   A lonely, attractive lawyer with a pup named Scooby.