I AM SO HAPPY I WAS NOT AT WORK TODAY. I mean, things still suck between “Someone” and I because I feel like he knows that I know about HER. I asked him to explain his status and he said he “didn’t know” what it meant. Right. So, we’re being curt with each other but whatever, I’m getting over it. How, you may ask, after I spent the last 10 days venting about him? I shall enumerate below:

1. The Ex. He still loves me. I’ll love him more when he’s here. He has been so much sweeter. I remember now why I loved him. He’s funny, bright, hot, conversation is easy with him and it isn’t strained. I never have to ask him for his opinion– he gives it– whether you want it or not. Right now, things are good.

2. New dress. It’s P E R F E C T. But it’s $608.00. I am trying to cajole my grandmother into purchasing it for me. We will find out the verdict soon enough. I’m thinking its a 50/50 shot.

3. Impact of dress. “Someone” will shit himself. So will everyone else.

4. My voice is getting much better!

5. Just got off of the phone with the ex and he will be calling me back.

6. I realized that trying to follow my own advice is only minimally rewarding. Three days ago, “putting it into perspective” would have been advice I laughed at and probably would have said “HAH that’s the bullshit I spew to my friends.” But now, in the grande scheme of things, the perspective ain’t that bad. He’s leaving. She’s whatever. I’m going to take the LSAT.

6a. More pressing concerns: desperately need a summer job, might have to move. Thus, truly makes “Someone” less of a concern.

Reality: I am trying to ignore my feelings. Trying to mask the pestilent must with fragrant perfumes. I cannot deny that some of the moments we shared, and the things he said don’t stick.. that they do not resonate deeply because they do. I only hope that we can resolve things before he leaves.

Mental/Emotional status: Clmbing from 35%.