10.09.09
Can’t reconcile your racism?
“These people who are also being led by the Glenn Becks, Michelle Bachmanns, the Rush Limbaughs, whomever, they are no different than any other white-identity movement that’s part of our history. – Janeane Garofalo”
For those of you who missed the October 2,2009 episode of Bill Maher, it is worth watching.
So my ex calls me this morning to essentially bash Obama now that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, we can all agree that this is politics at play– but does he deserve it? Yes, he does. As I tried to tell my ex this morning, but instead of listening to me after asking for my opinion? He talks over me. Doesn’t let me say anything, so I say “Fuck it,” and hang up. Repeat.
The resounding question seems to be: But what has Obama done?
The question that I pose to him/everyone else: What will they LET him do!?
People say “Bush got things done by just pushing things through when Congress was not in session”. Thereby implying that Obama should do the same thing. But as soon as he did something like that? Those same pundits would say “Oh, look at Obama! He’s breaking his word! Where is the Change?! He’s doing the same thing Bush did illegally!”
People say that because Obama did not call the race card or admit that racism was a factor in the opposition he is facing that clearly, there is no racism. Do you HONESTLY think Obama COULD admit that it was racism? As soon as he did, those pundits would say “Oh look! Obama is weak and vulnerable– he had to blame his failure on racism!”
If he does the right thing: he isn’t strong enough. If he displays any signs of strength?: he isn’t being bi-partisan and therefore breaking a “promise”. Give him an avenue of success! 65% of the American people want a Public Option. He is trying to give them a Public Option! But REPUBLICANS and SOME Democrats don’t want to approve it! Why? Because they are in bed with lobbyists and don’t want to lose any potential campaign funding. Don’t blame Obama. Look at your own Senators. Reevaluate.
So as you can see, the man cannot win for losing.
So I ask you: are people blind?!! The man is trying to get a Health Care Bill passed but people are in strong opposition for a NUMBER of reasons! Be it bribes, money, press, whatever– Look at Joe Wilson, look at the Tea Party people, look at all of the “Socialist” propoganda. Jimmy Carter was right when he said racism is a factor. You give Obama 9 months to try to bring completely new reform, and when YOU don’t see tangible impacts, YET, you come to the conclusion that “he isn’t doing anything”!? REALLY people!?
I was even MORE disgusted when I voted in this poll on AOL.
70% say Obama does not deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. WHY. NOT? Look at the opposition he has overcome. Look at all of the people who said “No you can’t”, look at how people are so willing to criticize him just because of one bill?! Look at what he has done with the EPA! With using diplomacy! Even BILL MAHER admitted that the only reason we are making strides with Iran is because of diplomacy.
This sort of negativity is toxic. And I am sick of hearing it. When I look at the Tea Party people, when I look at Joe Wilson, I am sorry to say it, but all I see are uneducated white people who refuse to concede power to not only a multi-racial man, but to a man who also has more education, is more articulate and tempered than many of them. They want to undermine Obama to weaken him. Because he is NOT WHITE. And he is educated. They called him and the people who support him elitist when hi is the least elite of all. He is the one who comes from a broken family, he is the one who has had to make it on his own, he did not get into Harvard and Columbia through legacy, but hard work. But now he is a Socialist because he is trying to help the American people? This is absurd! Why don’t you all open your eyes and take a good, long look at yourselves. Turn that reflective lens inward and tell me what you see. Because I see a racist and I commend Barack Obama for being better than all of the mud slinging; for rising above the smut in the Senate and the South and taking everything in stride.
People say “Oh, but he isn’t even all Black!” You’re right. He’s not. But guess what? It doesn’t matter. Because to all of the racist, uneducated white people out there like my ex? He’s Black. And he isn’t doing anything.
Grow. Up.
And before you say that Bill Maher and Janeane Garofalo are not viable sources? Attack the issue. Don’t give me flawed logic.
And for all of you critics out there: you can say that my entry was a rant. It is. But call it what you will, it’s true. The only reason you can’t admit it’s true? Is because you have a hard time reconciling your racism.
10.06.09
It’s hard not being easy.
Why do men loves whores? When polled, most replied with “Because they are easy” or, better still, “Because they are cheaper.”
And you know. I can respect the truth. But.. wow.
To get to the fulcrum of today’s post: it is hard not being easy. Have any of you ever noticed that it’s always the easygirls who get the guys? That, as soon as a guy realizes you’re not going to give up the vag as easily as the ho over there, it’s just not worth it? Sure, sure, we can all sit there and say “But there are exceptions!” or, better still, I am WAITING for someone to comment and say “Oh, I thought that too but my HUSBAND/boyfriend/SO…” Oh, I am just waiting for someone to say that. About how the “right guy” will find you and he will realize what a gem you are–Ok, HOLD UP. Thanks, but I a) realize that I’m a dime and b) am sick of hearing about your great whirlwind romance. Honestly? It’s not going to make me value your opinion anymore than the articles one can read in Redbook magazine.
Back to what I was saying. For example: last year, when I briefly and I mean briefly dated this fourth year medical student, he a) did not pay for lunch after inviting me out to it and b) expected me to have sex with him on the second date! “Show me your boobs” OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!? I don’t even KNOW you!! Now, you might be thinking I’m somewhat of a harlot but I am actually very much a prude. In fact, I wear skirts (knee-length) and dresses (same length) and a string of pearls. I scream class. So where did this guy get off trying to get me to get HIM off? Couldn’t tell ya’. Needless to say, I promptly told him that I’m not interested in having any sort of physical relations with him and to drop me off. He proceeded to call and text for the next few weeks but to no avail. Did he really think it would be that easy?
Fast forward to now. I took the year off from teaching to prep for the LSATs and I’m working at a retail chain. There is a guy there. We will call him El Dork. So, El Dork and I are dorks together. We like a lot of the same things. Laugh and talk and joke about dorky things ALL the time. He is my manager. I’ve known him for maybe a year. At any rate, we finally “go out”. Things proceed well but he doesn’t call as often as I like me men to (which means blowing up my phone) so whatever. But we keep seeing each other, infrequently, but he will call and we’ll talk on the phone. Right, so, last week, he asks me to go to the Bookstore after work (YAY) and we are going to go.. that day? Oh, he bails. Can’t do it. Just. Yeah. Can’t go. …Yeah. I know, right? I was thinking the same thing. Sooo… WTF, man? For a while, i thought I had a boyfriend (kind of, lots of details I’m omitting here) but it turns out it seems like nothing of the sort because it is now going on three days and I have not seen El Dork nor heard from him. OH WELL.
I give you that back story to say this: he knows that i’m a “classy girl” and that I’m not interested in sex and it seems pretty clear that I would want a serious relationship. I’m thinking this could be the reason I don’t see him as frequently. But I know, judging from conversations i’ve over heard, that any easy ho would not have a hard time getting into his pants. I bet she would get more mileage out of him than I would.
Now, lets look at another example. One of my best friend’s from undergrad? Got out of a long term relationship and has, essentially, turned into a bit of a slut. She’s slept with 2 guys in like, two weeks. No signs of slowing down. But you know what? She’s been through more guys than I EVER have. Why? Because she’s being easy. Now, if she met these dudes and instead of fucking them said: “Oh, no, I’m looking for something serious” how many do YOU honestly think would leap at the opportunity? Zero. Tried and true.
In summary: when you are not easy (therefore, ‘hard’ to ‘attain’), guys seem much more indifferent and unwilling to make the effort. If I were a ho, I would have the dudes lining UP. Like Elmo. So here I am, single, again, perpetually, and have come to the bitter sweet conclusion that buying a Great Dane and naming her Scooby Doo-Anna is the best alternative. A lonely, attractive lawyer with a pup named Scooby.
06.08.09
Because he’s just not that into you…
…but HOW can he not be?!
So tonight, Maria (this lady in my building whose sun goes to Johns Hopkins) hosted an NBA watch party for he and his friends and invited me. I go. It’s fun. Hit it off with one of his friends.. talked forever. Does he ask for my number? No. I mean.. seriously? Given the conversation we had there was no way he couldn’t be interested. But, did he ask for my number? No. Even Maria, after the event, was like “So you and Elliott really hit off!” Ugh. So yes, taking the pragmatic approach: maybe he’s just not that into me.
Reverse situation: today at the pool I met an older man. Wealthy, obviously. He, of course, as fate would have it, is breaking my door down, trying to get my number and get conversation going. Just, ugh. But the guy I’m most interested in and with whom I have the most similarities doesn’t ask for my number!!! AHHHH.
You cannot win for losing, I am convinced. Anyway, “Someone” has called me. Which is annoying because since he and Sister are not talking it “annoys” him. But why can’t I be the cause of his frustration?! I mean, it’s not that I want to negatively affect someone, but still! Bah.
In other news, and perhaps the most important: X and I, again, are no longer talking.
My Mom and I were going to Viriginia to a friend’s graduation. He says we should meet up. Then he throws the lame excuse of “You only gave me a three day notice!” to not meet up. So, whatever. Then he doesn’t call or reply to texts for two days but can send me an IM? I told him the following:
“I understand your situation but understand this: I am tired hearing your same excuses all. the. time. Do us both the favor and lose my number.”
To which he replied: “Consider it lost”
So WHY did he text me 34 minutes later asking if I was going to go to his house while I was there?! I was insulted and said
“Get real.”
To which he replied: “Good, because you don’t seem to be the same girl I knew.”
To which I replied: “You must have me confused with the trashy girls you used to date.”
One would THINK that would be the end to Epic Saga #3, but no. He IMs me later that night as though NOTHING happened! Of course, by that point I had not thought about his all day. Which is totally underestimating the situation because I was pretty torn up over that conversation and it bothered me the entire morning.
Now? I have THE SIMS 3!!!!!!!!!! And I have been consumed by it for 3 days now (HAH! How fitting). I have litterally been subsiting off of Kashi GOLean! Crunch and apple juice. Mmmm. Anyway. I am sleepy and am leaving now.
05.30.09
Megga Bitch
So I recently took this Facebook quiz and I scored ‘Megga Bitch’ on it. The description was: “you chew people up and spit out the pieces you dont like!!.” Which is true, to a certain extent. Which is what leads to the fulcrum of this post..
I am a selfish, manipulative bitch. Part of me is, at least. ‘Someone’ and I even came to the mutual conclusion that we are both like Greek Gods observing mortals and their scandals on earth. I have, essentially, manipulated Sister into not talking to Someone and now she is involved with TWO of Someone’s friends. The plan is working flawlessly; however, there is always room for error. He called her again to try to be friends– she told me this and I essentially broke the happy bubbly and said it was a ploy. Which it is.. to .. some extent. I FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON which is why when bad things happen to me, it feels like Karma. In all honesty, though, you cannot <i<make something happen if it doesn’t want to happen.. so it’s not ALL my fault.
In other news. Someone is gone, the Saga is essentially over but I could not even begin to recap the last few months which have felt more like Seasons on a reality television show than anything else. And I’m the executive producer who makes elusive cameos.
When not being a Megga Bitch, I moonlight as a nice, lonely, miserably single Ivy League grad itching to begin the next chapter in her life. While all of my friends are engaged or married, I have few local friends and spend my time working out and being a productive member of society. Today, as it does on so many days when I interact with large groups, I face the very hardening reality that: I am single and no one else is. There was “Beach” party in my condo building today and all of the residents were hanging out.. all of them with friends.. or their significant others.. neither of which I had. So, when I decided to leave, I came upstairs and cried on the phone to my Mom who couldn’t really talk. X is going to the movies with his mother and couldn’t talk so here I am. Again.
I suppose I could use this time to NOT be selfish and continue tinkering away at my epic to-do list.
05.12.09
REVELATION(s) + Elmo
Yesterday was epic, to say the least. As a matter of fact, this entire weekend was EPIC.
Here is the uber-abbreviated version:
1. Someone essentially tells Sister that he likes another girl too and has been spending time with her.
2. She is disgusted and over him.
3. Today, Someone’s best friend, MD, tells us what happened.. Essentially, MD likes this girl named K, who MD was also involved with.
Ok, this isn’t working. Someone “likes” and is spending some time with the girl his best friend likes. Sister is disgusted by his behavior. There are far too many details to recount so instead I will simly give my perspective and present the outcome.
Sister and Someone had a falling out. She is no longer talking to him. Ironically enough, this plays perfectly into my plan. He’s upset with her and she loathes him and I look like the innocent confidant! YAY! I know. I know. It is horrible and manipulative which is probably why THE $608 DRESS that I got is not NEARLY as cute in person as it was on the website. UGH. Mom and I are going to return it shortly and buy this yellow gown I spotted two weeks ago. Hopefully it will fit– it’s a size smaller– but SPEAKING of weight! I HAVE LOST 10 pounds!!!!! YAY!! I am only75 pounds from my PERFECT weight!
I just realized that this post has been a cluster-fuck of information and is in no way, shape, or formed organized. Oh, well.
Things I have come to terms with:
1. Weight loss is possible once you have reached the mental-level of preperedness.
2. I am selfish, spoiled and manipulative but overall a good person who just wants to be loved and made to feel special.
3. I am happy with my body.
4. Someone is … annoying. He and I have yet to really have a talk and get it all out there in the air. We were close today but it was just.. ugh. He was going to kiss me, I could feel it, but then we just didn’t. I was not giving him any positive vibes, really, but then again, I’m not interested in kissing him.
5. I’m O V E R my Ex. Same shit, same issue different day.
Also, here is the comic relief to all of the drama/ ongoing Saga: Elmo
05.09.09
Uber-user
My mother once said: “You cannot use someone without being used.”
She was right and this is the first time I’ve ever had to seriously consider the nuance of said quote. “Sister” and I were up until 4am last night on the phone talking about “Someone”. He was texting her as we were talking and the conversation went something like this:
Her: “Yeah, well you like anything that walks.”
Him: “LOL”
Her: “What’s funny?”
Him: “I can’t help who I like”
Her: “And how many is that?”
Him: “You will never know”
Her: …
Essentially, he told her that he went to hang out with this other girl who he likes “to a certain extent” and then went onto say that he cannot help who he likes, etc. This was the most elementary school response I had ever heard. Clearly Someone is too lazy to be accountable for his actions because he currently “likes” 6 people that I know of and then, according to what he told Sister, likes a lot more but never shows them attention because if he did he would “be doing lots of things.”
ARE. YOU. S E R I O U S?
I cannot quite understand the matter. Part of me says that I have been used! We’ve shared intimate moments, gone out together, etc and here is trying to have ‘affairs’ with other women! And one is a MUTUAL FRIEND!
At this point, he is simply the embodiment of disgust. Sister is not talking to him and neither am I at this point. It’s rather unfortunate that things had to end this way, but how fair is it to toy with one’s feelings as he is?
Needless to say, it serves no useful purpose to be involved with someone who “cannot control who he likes” and consequently acts on those “feelings”. Now that I have reconciled these things and now that– wait a second. Waaaait a second. Could the only reason I had NOT let him go was because Sister liked him and now that she DOESN’T like him I no longer care or feel competitive? Oh, my. I really have some issues.
Mental/Emotional status: 51.3%
In other news, X hasn’t called me today. Reminds me why I keep my feelings well guarded. Also, I think I am getting a sore throat. Ugh. OH. And I’ve lost 2 lbs!
–Speaking of X: he just texted me. Ugh.
05.08.09
Mercurial Mercutio?
I inadvertently happened upon this link today while browsing for Young Alumni events (when I should be looking for a job!) and it made me sad. Well, only marginally because a) I adore Shakespeare and fun venues such as the Shakespeare Tavern which really makes an effort to transport their audience and offer educational opportunities for students and young aspiring actors is worthy of applause. So, to see that a creative outlet such as this one is suffering saddens me. Where are our values, society?! Clearly the millions of dollars we play NBA stars and Olympic swimmers is far more important than augmenting the minds of middle schoolers in hopes of swaying their interests AWAY from sex and onto something more.. promising. b) We all know that the Tavern will come up with the money. There will be some anonymous millionaire who will foot the bill and cushion their books to make the next season superb. c) Back to me: where is my anonymous donor!?
Maybe I’m selfish.
There really is no question about it: I can be very selfish at times. Maybe it’s the only child syndrome, I don’t know, but I am suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of selfishness. Remember the retail therapy post? The $608 dress? Well, it’s a heft price tag and I have other expenses. The fiscally responsible thing to do would be to find another, less expensive dress, right? That way I am less stressed, my mother and grandmother are less stressed, etc. But why do I feel unable to do so? It’s like.. I cannot let go of this one item I so desperately want and … kind of need. I can justify the dress a hundred times over but it feels so unfair when my mother has her own expenses and issues to deal with and so does my grandmother. Not only that, but MOTHER’S DAY is Sunday and what have I purchased? Nothing! because I spend all of my money at the Renaissance festival. I FEEL HORRIBLE. I talked to Mom about it but she, as usual, doesn’t want anything.
Not only do I feel selfish when it comes to purchasing new items, but sometimes I am selfish in relationships: always demanding to come first and on occasion I raise issues that were not even issues to begin with. Ah, well. The first step is to acknowledge that you have a problem and then work on it, which I am doing! 
Mental/Emotional status: Nearing 39%
P.S. I got The Dress
